Men Cut Back On Dating In Tough Economic Times
Apparently, many men are choosing to not date these days.
They can't afford it because finances are tight or they are jobless. Either way, men are conditioned to fulfill certain stereotypical dating roles. The biggest one - the man pays, can be next to impossible to fulfill sometimes. The article that I read mentions that one man thinks about dating a woman and decides, well it will cost about the same as my power bill, so he decides to skip it.
Hhmm... First, why does a date have to be a big expense? Is that what really matters to us women? Sure, a fancy night out is great, but most of my friends are looking for something simple - we don't have the money or the time for the Big Night-type event either. (New dress, nails done, highlights, whatever - in my case, new flip flops).
Second, the men talk about not wanting to date until they feel confident and successful. I do understand that. I want to walk into a new relationship with my head held high, full of confidence about what I can bring to the table.
One of the men quoted in the article, Kevin Cain, says this:
"I haven't tried to date in at least six months," Cain said. "I can't afford to take myself to dinner, let alone somebody else."
To Cain, it's not just about the money. It's also that he doesn't feel dateable. He wants to meet a partner as a confident, self-supporting man. Right now he's just a guy looking for work who can't afford more than a beer when he goes out.
Cain acknowledged that "there are women out there who would be fine with the situation." But he's not fine with it. "I'd like to date, and I enjoy the company, but I just feel, like, inadequate. And when you're in the 'burbs it's even worse."
Okay, I don't exactly understand the 'burbs reference as I've spent my whole life a 'burbite, but the rest of it rings true. In theory, I think "I like the simple date, I'm not looking for a rich guy anyway," but in practice, I know exactly what it's like to have a relationship with a man who is out of work. It wasn't the lack of money that got to me, it was the way he couldn't face me and deserted the relationship. A man who is out of work, he's got bigger worries than dating on his mind.
Maybe the best thing to do, in these tough economic times, is to loosen up a bit and let things just happen. Think of dating as something nice that could happen, like a happy surprise, but not a necessity.
This could be the best time to meet someone doing the things you love that are free or almost free. For example, ride the bike you already own (no extra $$), maybe you'll meet someone on the bike path (it's free!). Hey, it could happen.
The point is, nobody needs yet another thing to stress out about.